Will You Join Me?

I almost lost my wife, Clare, twice in the last two years because of internal bleeding, which we later found out was a result of H Pylori. The bacteria was causing large ulcers to eventually burst and drop her hemoglobin so rapidly that she would pass out and stop breathing. Each time, I was there with her – forced into the fragility of life – caught between getting her to breathe again and realizing that she may not breathe again. It’s not a place any of us want to be – where we are watching our partner slip away. At one point her hemoglobin was a 4.4 and her BP was 55/27. She was barely alive. I was terrified.

We were lucky. Clare recovered both times. And we got answers.

After ten years of being in stomach pain off and on, after two years of a roller coaster ride that consisted of that “always in the back of your mind” worry, and after round upon round of antibiotics, treatments, and testing…Clare is H Pylori negative!

The other day Clare shared with me that her dad came to her during one of those in between moments when she was passed out and not breathing. He told her it wasn’t time for her to leave her body and he told her to go back. She didn’t remember this experience initially, but it forged its way to her memory right before she heard the news that she was negative.

She remembers feeling so expansive in those seconds…seconds that felt like hours to me. She wanted to remain in that feeling but her dad told her that she could find a way to feel that expansive here on Earth. Hearing that has made me think about how I can feel expansiveness in this life. We have both been pushed to dig deeper into our spirituality through all of this.

We live a world that is at war with itself in so many ways. We’ve forgotten the part of us that is expansive and free. We've forgotten how to accept. Not just others, but more importantly, ourselves. I believe that our expansiveness lives within.

I’ve struggled with my own expansiveness lately. Maybe because of all that is going on the world. It’s impossible to not be affected by the tension, the hurt, the pain, the loss. Quarantines, fear, and arguments galore - we’ve got to find a way back to what makes us expansive…connection and communion with one another. I’m starting by making a conscious effort to really be with those I love and want to build relationships with. I’m pushing myself to expand by reaching out more. Will you join me?

The Speakership Collective

Exciting news! Next month I will be joining Margaret Watts Romney's team as a facilitator for the Speakership Collective. Twice a month I will be leading a group on the topic of memoir storytelling.

What will my group entail? I will you help you to explore, find, and develop authentic stories from your own life to use in your speeches, presentations, business pitches, marketing, and branding.

Research has proven that stories that are personal and emotionally compelling engage more of the brain and are better remembered then stating facts. That’s why storytelling is effective in a variety of situations.

Telling stories from your own life is simple, but it can also be scary. It's about sharing your own experiences, how you felt in the process, how you navigated something, and it’s about how you changed or transformed. Sharing isn’t just about you (which is healing) it is also healing for those you share it with. Your willingness to be vulnerable can, literally, change someone's life.

My group is just a small bonus in being a part of the Speakership Collective. My success this year has in large part been because of the leadership and the community that is available. From one-on-one's to a variety of weekly classes...it has helped me move forward with confidence in my career again after being home with little Merit for so long. It is literally a one stop shop for ANYONE who wants to take their speakership to the next level.

I am also doing individual sessions for people who want to share their stories with the world - so this group is a major bonus to add to the work I am already doing (www.meaganonan.com).

If you are interested in being a part of the Speakership Collective, here is just a taste of the offerings. These are upcoming classes you have access to among other support groups where you get to present, practice, get feedback, and have one-on-one sessions!

Aug 17: What is "Authentic" Speaking? Aug 31: Expert Megan Heffernan: Giving our Body Something to Say Sept 7: Three Essential Preparation Tools Sept 21: Preparing for Interviews: Podcasts, Panel Discussions, and Media Spots

New groups that will begin being offered September 1st are: *Finding speaking opportunities *Camera presence & voice inflection *Memoir storytelling *Practicing leadership

If you want to check out some of the offerings, go here: https://speakership-club.mn.co/feed

New memberships open September 1st and there are limited spots. If you want to grab one, go here: https://speakershipquiz.com/0

How Our God Voice Fades

I asked Merit yesterday morning, "Did you come from Mama or from God?" She said, "God." Then I asked her, "Where is God?" She pointed to her heart.

Tears welled up in my eyes. In that moment I was reminded how simple and powerful our connection to God is. This wasn't something that we taught Merit to know. It was purely based on her own understanding. We've talked with her about being grateful to God and seeing the God around us, but not about who God is or isn't to her. Clare and I have longed to have these conversations with her because we know she knows more about God than we do.

Looking back on my own younger years, I certainly remember the innocent and pure connection I felt to something beyond me. I knew it was bigger than Jesus. But I didn't have the words or the experience to understand the vastness I was feeling. As life went on and bombarded me with things I should do or shouldn't do, I slowly lost close touch. God never felt far away, but I felt less and less deserving of the love that once engulfed my heart.

And so goes life...as we get older we try to unlearn what we have been taught so that we can feel close to Truth again. It's not an easy process for anyone because we have to sift through the layers and layers of misguided decisions we've made based on what we thought was "right" at the time, but not necessarily "right" for us. We learn eventually, if we pay attention, but sometimes those lessons are costly.

Clare and I have always believed that children come into this world knowing God in a way that we have forgotten. Culturally (at least here in the South), we teach them to unlearn the God that they know by putting parameters around God through religion. We learn to view God as separate, as this Being that is outside of us or in the sky somewhere. We teach children that they are bad or sinful, but children are so pure of heart so they don't understand "bad" or "sinful" until we teach it to them.

We teach our children that there is a one-way path to God that you must attain instead of allowing them to embrace and build on the truth they already know.

Who is the God they know?

What little children know is that there is no separation between them and God. That's why Merit pointed to her heart when I asked her where God was. She didn't point to the sky. She knows God is within her.

How do we help our children build on what they already know about God?

What Merit so clearly understands is that she is one with God, and that God rests within her at all times - what we must do as parents is nurture her own knowing by guiding her to listen to that part of her instead of listening to the fear of trying to avoid doing something "wrong." I know it isn't an easy feat as a parent, but we too have to remember to take the time to be in "oneness" with God in order to guide our children towards listening to the part of them that will bring them wholeness and connection in their adult life.

How do we help ourselves build on what our children know about God/how do we learn from our children?

Learning to know God as our children do requires our own work of "unlearning" and "remembering." Lord knows that we all have our work cut out for us there. For example, as a gay woman, I have to keep unlearning that I am "bad" or "sinful" because I am gay and remember that I am worthy and that God is within me as much as the next person. There is a part of us all that still thinks we are "bad" or undeserving.

From my own observations, studies, and my own knowing, I believe that when we adults take the time to be silent and access our "God-voice"(aka, listen to our heart) to hear the answer(s) we are so desperately seeking, then we are activating the part of us that we have lost over the years. We are taught that God speaks "through" us, which means we don't see God as a part of us, as one with us. Instead of praying to God maybe what we need to do is listen to the God that is already within us, the part that already has the answers. Children do.

Merit has reminded me that God's voice doesn't fade. We do.